Good marriages thrives on the open exchange of emotion, desires, and beliefs. In fact, communication is one of the most important part of any great marriage.
Many people in troubled marriages say, “We just don’t communicate anymore.” Most likely, what they mean to say is that they don’t communicate effectively anymore. The truth is that people are communicating all the time. Even two people giving each other the silent treatment are communicating with each other. We communicate through our behavior, facial expressions and gestures. We communicate through spoken or written communication. We communicate through touch and emotion.
So, how do we do it better??
We start somewhere! The key to growth in communication is to commit to setting time aside as a couple so you can grow in this area. Be patient with each other, it takes time and effort.
Here’s a few ideas to get you started:-
1. Carve out time each day to communicate on a deep level. eg. 15-30 mins of couch time after work, cooking dinner together, taking a walk before dinner, (be creative).
2. Learn to be a great listener. Seek first to understand!
3. Be genuinely interested in what your partner says.
4. Avoid one word answers or surface level communication.
5. Be gentle. If something is bothering you bring it up without blame.
6. Stay calm. If conversation turns in to conflict. Revisit it another time when you both feel less emotionally charged.
7. Schedule a regular meal each day (media free) when the whole family eats together.